(Originally written 1/23/17)
When Jesus Reigns Again
When Jesus reigns again
All will forever see
The life he has
Granted to all the righteous ones
His love will forever
Dwell in them
But will come upon them
In a twinkle of an eye
Jesus kingship lies within
All believers, all followers of himself
He chooses those
One by one
Not by the dozen
Not by the thousands
Or even the millions or billions
But He chooses
Each one by one
Jesus reigns with love
To all those willing
To say I choose you
As my one true savior
*I have written a lot of praise and worship writings to uplift myself when I was feeling down and out and tired and disgusted. Although the writings were written years ago, it still resonates with everyday life. Sometimes you have to encourage yourself and most of my writings was me encouraging myself, singing praise and worship wordings to the Most High whether I was going through a situation or not, it provided an uplifting experience in my life. It as if I pursued the goodness of the Lord and He turned around and looked at me and said you can let me go now you don’t have to hang on my leg anymore and I looked at Him directly in the eyes and said no sir not until you bless me like a little child clinging to her parent leg saying buy me this or I want this. Well all I can say today is that I didn’t get exactly what I ask for, but I received something ten times greater a whooping all around the world for being disobedient. When you look at it, trials and tribulations are all part of hell to get you to the point where you need to be with the Most High God. It takes us to a place of surrender, but it is obedience, but it doesn’t feel like it when you get to that point of desolate situations and circumstances. You finally get to the point in your own life where you want exactly what the Most High God wants for you and you never bow down to anything or anyone ever again. It’s so weird to me now because I have been going through so much even the past few weeks with work and changing so much in every area of my life, when I finally woke up one day I realized I was all grown up in the Holy of holies. It’s an amazing journey that I experienced and I freely share these writings only so that ones that are going through similar situations can be uplifted and know that God is everything. You know my mom transition a few years ago and I tell you I thought I was going to grieve for a long time, but I tell you God said nope, He was my counselor, my provider, my healer, my caretaker, my comforter, whatever I needed him to be he was that. I received immediately help. My transition from the old to the new was bad, ugly, and good all at the same time. Every day I would say God provide a way out of this hell storm I was in? I had transformed into a person he created me to be and the changes brought a lot of chaos in my life, I am a living witness that God never leaves you or abandon no matter what you are going through. By the way you are going through it, troubles doesn’t last forever. At the end of the day as I said earlier in my writings I documented my journey every step of the way and this is my turn around seed to encourage others not to look at things from the world point of view, but take the time each day and look to the Most High God that lies within that mustard seed of faith that dwells within all believers and the ones that doesn’t believe, God still knows how to connect with you as well. It is like this God didn’t treat me no different than the way he treated his children in the bible, I was no exception. I went through it all, just like he had mercy upon their souls, he had mercy upon my soul. He knows what you can take and how long. To me it was like a long butt whooping that wouldn’t stop, no matter how much I say stop it Lord, he would keep on going and sometimes not saying a word to me, just holding my hands and say I got this and no weapon shall come or fall against you.
Trust is the key and I can honestly say I had trust issues in the past, so it was like I am entrusting my entire being with a spiritual being, a spiritual father, a spiritual brother that I don’t know like that. It was a new beginning of trust and I overcame every issue I had in the past with trust. Every day I focus on my inner being where God dwelled even though it started off with me just believing in a higher power.
You see I always believed in God but never had a personal relationship with him as I do today. My first real earthly encounter was in my twenties, but even I know it started as a little girl on the playground when I was swinging so high and somehow my hands let go of the swing and I felt out at a high depth and landed on the back of my head and got up with red dirt in my hair and I dust myself off and not one person seen that, not one came to say are you alright not even a teacher, by the way children were playing everywhere. I know God saved me that day and he had greater plans for me. At that time I was about ten in age. That memory never went away but I knew the enemy meant evil, but God turned it into good.
Now in my life the boat that once sailed was so bumpy and chaotic when the boat ride came to a place on solid ground, a solid foundation I was well beyond my years. It as if I aged and grew younger at the same time. Let me explain this transformation I went through in which all believers have to go through in God you have to take ownership of all your doings whether it is right or wrong, once you take ownership of everything you done in your life, God start giving gifting but it seems to always come with a price to pay. So I had to quote the Living Bible and bring back to God remembrance of his own words and he remembered and said I have to honor my word, I tell you that rainbow without it we will be doomed. He had to stop everything so that I could live a life he created for me in the beginning, how else he would receive glory if I stay in the same position forever with no upbringing into a new life with him.
So this time around even today I just said God good night. I am waking up to something brand new, if you want to dwell on past hurts and pains than I am leaving you there because I am over it and I am done. I rested and I rested knowing I have done everything I could to please a God that kept telling me no not now, no it’s not the right season, or it’s a delay, or it’s a setback. I said nope I am honoring myself and I am giving myself a way out of this hell hole that was meant for evil and I am going to dream new dreams that would set me so far ahead that all those years was taking from me for following you I now will receive double for all the hardships, pains, hurts, disappointments, and by the way the way you had me going to and from like a jackass and had me looking like a fool in the sight of people I don’t know. I said you know I don’t want to talk about it anymore. He didn’t say a word because he knew I still was hurt because of that, long story short it does still hurts today and it was never resolved. I was listening to the Holy Spirit during this process of change and transition, during this time you have the enemy searching and trying to put his input in things and I can honestly say I haven’t seen a turnaround in that situation. You see whatever situation occurred while going through this process of transition from the old to new God promise you so many things, but he doesn’t give it to you immediately. It always seemed like the devil winning at everything, until I woke up and said you can play in the dirt by yourself where the ringworms live. He fought hard for me to play with him but he gave up and went his way. He didn’t like the love I had in my heart and in my mind for all living beings and he went his way not without a fight though.
So I said to God I am disappointed in how this turned out and I am asking you to fix it and make it right. I said you allowed me to do this and react in this way and the only thing I was doing was being obedient to your calling and I got the worst end out of it and nope I don’t receive it because it is all negative energy that I wish to no longer hang on to, so God I am letting go a piece of me that you will forever carry that I no longer need anyway and that is something you allowed the enemy to do to distract me, but even so I focus on things above not beneath. The thing about it, the enemy tried to give me lust but I wouldn’t receive it and I never had it. To think about it everything I never did as a sinner is what the enemy tried to give me so my work was ten times harder than some, but either way I told God I am through paying the price for something the enemy did, God go back and remember what you said in the Living Word, who suppose to carry all this weight, you do not me. I have worked off all these low wages and you have not uplifted me out of this position, this same position in which I have outgrown and need new clothes, shoes, by the way a new body. It’s time to get up and get the working your resting days are over in my life. Both of us cannot work at the same time, so I am retiring and somebody has to provide for this household. He didn’t utter a word, but knew that I was right because I received the gift of righteous, meaning I was on his right side now. I said there is no more concubines gods in me so there is no more hesitation or resistance on your behalf. He smiled upon me and he knew what was in my heart and mind and they was both equal now, not one was greater than the other. So the light ruled out the darkness in every area of life leaving nothing out, not one governs another or each other. When all was done the light reign for everlasting life and there was no need for a lamp, candle, or lamp shade because there was no more spiritual death that I could or would ever go through in life himself. I had risen from the dead into a new life with The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost. You have to go through each one of them to overcome all adversity in this world.
Life went on to say God bless you and peace be still, but I looked and said something that wasn’t nice because I knew the enemy was sitting around slurping on tea trying to convince me to turn back to my old ways, but like today and any other day I completely ignored him and he went away never to come close to me ever again because immediately a door was closed and a new one open and that new door was just for me and no one, not one can ever walk in or through this door because it was meant for me and only me. When the day ended a new one begin with new found faith and a new life meaning bigger responsibilities. It seems to never end, but I stop and took time to smell all the roses and just love on myself for just awhile and realize no one will ever take care of me better than myself. I realized I was looking for love in all the wrong places, not in people though, I was looking and searching for a love that I have given to others unconditional love, unfailing love, but I never received that from no one, but when I realized I could love myself that way, I grew up and realized that love is what it is, but unconditional love stays with you everlasting life, it doesn’t shoot you down, it doesn’t leave you on the corner for the garbage truck to pick you up, it doesn’t take you to the police station to leave you and never return. By the way it doesn’t give up when things get tough. When I looked around at every living soul that I have encountered on my journey, I realized there were only two people that loved me that way and it wasn’t my mother or father. There is so much to love I had to learn, but I can honestly say for some reason or another God had love on his mind when he created all living things and beings and he created us perfect in his image and likeness. But today I can admit that I took all those hurts and pains and I had bundled it up in a great package deal when that package deal exploded I was devastated and God had to pull me out of it. I was little baby in womb, but this time I was in the right womb to be nurtured and provided for and was the very first time someone actually took me in and welcome me with open arms and said come as you are.
As I came in to fellowship with the Most High God he took me to a place of ownership and woke me up out of a deep sleep I had been in all my life and guess what he said you are no longer in a disposition at any given time, you are my child and you are a child of the Most High God I am wiping all those tears up, not one will dry up ever again. I heard and seen it all, not a day went by that I didn’t see what happen in your life, I will take your greatest pains and hurts, situations, circumstances and turn it into your gain. You haven’t seen anything yet. Since I trusted him more and more each day because he showed me that he honored his word I began to let go and let him take and remove everything from out of my path and some was people. During this process of life it had its ups and downs but I can say today, this exact moment I am so free, I have never been freer in my life than I am today.
I want to say that all these stories are a bond with the Most High God. He desires to have a bond with us all. The things I say and the communication we share is like a father and daughter bond. When I started this journey I wanted that physical touch, but as I grew up with him and in him he gave me something ten times more than what I expected. It’s like you can’t miss something you didn’t have, but I missed it because I did have it, it was not only in my dreams, but he brought it into reality with people, places, and things. Amazing experiences and some things you can’t write on paper, you just know that it’s not only happened in your real life experience, but these experiences were meant for God and me. He shares what he wants to share with each one of us, but to he knows the individual to give it to at the right timing in their life during the process of changing from old to the new. Gifting is a wind that blows and blows and it never stops, it only puts out the fire before the fire ignite again and the process continues, but when the Holy Ghost shows up he permanently remove all things which are not and goes on to heal all the broken bones in your being from being pushed around so much that the enemy meant for bad and he takes it to a new level of understanding and belief, amazing grace, but like I said what was meant for evil God turn it for good.
May God bless you all and peace is with you and that you all withstand all things which are not of the Most High so that he can turn those things into goodness and grace, peace. Amen
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